I've decided to begin writing thoughts, ideas, processes, and just general creative thoughts here. I used to do this quite a bit in years past and I've missed the habit greatly!
I do a bit of sharing on Instagram, but it is more a place for mini thoughts and I find I have bulging piles of ideas and thoughts which clammer inside my head. Sharing them makes us all (me, the ideas, and everyone around me) happier. Hah!
So, I dove into art more seriously about 9 months ago simply as a place to run off feelings, do something I enjoy on a regular basis, and process our move.
In April 2017, Michael and I moved our little family of four from eastern Pennsylvania, to middle Tennessee... and honestly I still can't find words to fully describe my feelings on the topic. I know looking back I'll find the story beautiful... in fact so many parts of it are beautiful already, but walking through it still feels strangely foggy, and jarring... and somehow like grief and joy at the same time.
When we moved there were questions that had no answers, and feelings that could not be laid out neatly... or even explained. Holding all of this made me feel wild and numb at the same time, so, I turned to art (a mixture of painting & writing) and have been walking this path since.
This, thankfully has helped sooth some of the fear in me. Art has somehow helped me sit in the middle of the questions and simply move color and shape onto paper without needing to have answers. It allowed me to hold mystery, and see it simply as it is - mystery. I can't stuff things into mystery, or force answers out of it, all I can do is trust that the process I'm in is valuable, and beautiful... and that's it.
So, somehow I keep twisting in this great mystery, and love (light?) keeps seeping in, and things keep dripping out in the form of color, words, shapes, and stories. I can't connect all the dots, I'll never know all the answers to all the questions (the maple tree outside my window keeps telling me that's ok but it’s hard to trust isn’t it?). Slowly I’m learning that it's ok not to know all the things, in fact knowing all the things isn't the point, listening is.
So, as unsettling as moving has felt, art has felt like a quiet coming home... to tea, and firelight, and books, to friendships that reach over time and space, to ideas that help me see beyond my ordinary vision.
I am thankful.
Oh, and if you're reading this, you are probably one of the magic callers (as I like to call you). You have impacted my life because you have seen something special, your sparkling eyes have told me so! Keep picking up your pen, your trowel, your words and ideas... keep giving us a glimpse into what you see. I'm looking too.